Life is (still) a Highway
(Its been so long since i last made a post here that I was actually surprised to see a different ‘Add New Post’ page.)
Its amazing what a nice highway drive with the radio up (Green Tinted Sixties Mind) and the windows down can do for the soul. That, along with the cool breeze that comes during December. Its a nice reminder that my favourite time of year is, indeed, here.
I feel like the last couple of weeks have been taking its toll on me. I’ve been getting more and more depressed, I’ve been getting lazier and lazier to do the things I should be doing, and I just don’t feel like there’s anything that’s waiting for me at the end of all this (if there was an end.)
I’m not going to lie, I’m really, really having a hard time with what I’ve gotten myself into. Its a far cry from what I had imagined when I started this project. Nowadays, I can’t even get proper sleep trying to figure out how I’m going to make everything work. Sometimes I feel like I’ve bitten off more than I could possibly chew.
But again, I’m 25. I turned 25 two days ago (thanks to everyone who remembered and shared it with me). I am young, I know little. I have mixed emotions about this. On one part, it is a source of pride that I am young and am able to do the things that I am doing now. On the other hand, it sometimes feels like the world is bearing down on me, because I am young. I wonder if the people I work with respect me, they are all older than I am. I wonder if the people around me see me differently; sometimes I feel as though I’ve isolated myself from them. Worst of all though, is me wondering if some people around me are just trying to manipulate me for their own gains. The thought disgusts me, but then that is the reality of life. It pains me to no end how I have to be so wary of people. How wrong I was to have thought this would be a simple matter of ‘do your best and you will succeed’.
Not that I’m giving up. Life goes on, whether or not we decide to move with it; the world spins on. So, this is me picking myself up, driving down STAR tollway with the windows down and my radio turned up to its loudest, saying I can and will do this, no matter the cost.
once we hit bottom, nowhere else to go but up. Cheer up olibear!
don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re only human like everyone else.
kaya yan… you’re young that’s true… but that doesn’t make you ‘dumber’ or less capable than the older people.. you’re really right that you’re lucky that you’re able to do all this at a young age. i think it’s the same thing, whether you’re 35 or 25, if you experience something like this for the first time, there really is a lot of ups and downs, and i guess its a matter of being patient and going over the hump.. just have to be extra smart and careful with decisions and things.